The Best Decision I Ever Made: Delighting in the Wife of My Youth

Charlayne and me on our wedding day, August 15, 1987.

The last thing I thought I needed in the fall of 1986 was a girlfriend. When the Army had assigned me to Germany three years earlier, I half expected that I might find the woman of my dreams there. A few fun-but-fruitless relationships later, I realized that this process was more complicated that I thought, and far more difficult. And so, when I made my way to Fort Huachuca, Arizona, at the beginning of November for the next phase of my military career, I determined that it would be better to get a dog than find a girlfriend. Oddly enough (seeing that God has quite the sense of humor), it was nearly thirty more years before I would get a dog, but the woman of my dreams was only days away from walking into my life.

It happened on Sunday, November 9, 1986, at the First Baptist Church of Sierra Vista, Arizona. Charlayne was among the single young adults in the Sunday School class that morning, but her presence didn’t register with me until that evening, when I joined the church at the evening worship service. That’s when this vision of loveliness came bounding down the aisle to give me a hug and welcome me into the congregation. She also invited me to go out with all the singles to the Village Inn for pie. It was an unexpected, but very agreeable, invitation. What was more unexpected, and even more agreeable, was how quickly we became good friends. Within days we were dating, and within six weeks we were engaged.

I tell people that we were engaged by decree of my mother-in-law, and it’s true. Both of us had plans for our lives that a serious relationship would disrupt. As we grew closer and closer, the thought of those disruptions caused us no end of distress, until one Sunday afternoon they brought us to the brink of panic. We asked her parents to come over and talk with us. They sat in her apartment listening to us talk things out for about an hour and a half, and then her mother said the last thing I expected: “Well, it seems to me you kids need to get married.”

Many times in my life, a sense of peace has settled over me, indicating that God’s answer in the present predicament had been revealed. That moment in Charlayne’s apartment was one of the first, and is still one of the most profound, of those occasions. When her mother said the one thing we had dared not consider, we knew it was right, and it was holy. We were married some months later, and after 31 years we remain true to the covenant that established our household when we were young.

I do not recall whether any woman other than Char has ever captured my attention in any way that might cause her to be a rival to the wife of my youth. I have had many female friends and coworkers, some of whom have been quite attractive, but in all those years, I cannot remember a time when any of them attracted me in any inappropriate way. Perhaps I am peculiar in that regard; I have known many situations when such attractions severely damaged and even ended the marriages of people I knew. In our culture, we do not look favorably on unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant. For reasons grounded in Scripture, we in the West have, since time immemorial, taken seriously and literally the words of Moses and Yeshua (Jesus) that a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife as one flesh. Even King Henry VIII of England could not get around those words. When his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, could not produce a male heir, he annulled the marriage and took Anne Boleyn. When she produced no male heir, he found a reason to have her executed (one can do that if one is a king), and replaced her with Jane Seymour. She became mother to his only son, but died only days later. Henry’s next wife, Anne of Cleves, was so young and innocent that he chose to annul the marriage rather than consummate it. In her place, he married Catherine Howard, a young-but-not-so-innocent woman whose flirtatious behavior eventually cost her her head. That left Catherine Parr, the wife who outlived the old king.

I learned the tale of Henry VIII as a boy, thanks to a classic BBC miniseries about his life. It struck me as odd that Martin Luther himself had stated his preference that the king commit bigamy and marry Anne Boleyn rather than divorce the first Catherine. Henry did not adopt Luther’s prescription as far as I can tell, but chose annulment instead. It helped that Catherine was Spanish and Catholic; in one stroke, he ended a cumbersome political entanglement and its attendant religious fetters. When the Roman Church refused to grant the annulment (perhaps because the reigning pope was at that time a prisoner of Catherine’s nephew, Emperor Charles V), Henry simply declared England separate from Rome and established the Anglican Church.

It is the stuff of soap operas, but it is our history. So also are the tales of the patriarchs and many great men of the Bible. Abraham, Jacob, Elkanah, David, Solomon, and the kings of Judah and Israel seemed to have no trouble taking multiple wives. After all, there is no Scriptural prohibition against polygamy. The closest thing to a prohibition that appears in the Bible is Paul’s advice to Titus and Timothy that congregational elders should have but one wife. I surmise that Paul’s wise counsel came not merely from his extensive knowledge of the Torah and the traditions of the elders, but his experience in guiding the many congregations forming in the Mediterranean world of his day. Perhaps that experience is what motivated him to write what I believe is the best word on this matter:

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12 NASB)

Lawful, but not profitable. Is that not the lesson of the Patriarchs? King Henry VIII may have been thinking about the woeful consequences in the households of those men – consequences that included incest, murder, extreme sibling rivalry, jealousy, and all manner of dysfunction. I saw the same phenomenon when I studied the Ottoman Empire. No prince who attained the sultanate was safe as long as his half brothers from his father’s other wives were still alive. King Abdul Aziz of Saudi Arabia understood this quite well, which is why he arranged for his sons from his many wives to rule sequentially so that none of them would be the father of a new dynasty. The last of those sons is on the throne in Riyadh today, sixty-five years after his father’s death.

I do not know much about the wives of these polygamous kings, whether of ancient Israel, Ottoman Turkey, or modern Saudi Arabia. The best commentary I heard came from a Saudi amir whose hospitality I enjoyed in 1990, while I served with the army deployed there to defend his country from Iraqi aggression. Over the course of our conversation, the question of Muslim views on marriage came up. Multiple wives entered into the religious culture of Islam because it was already a cultural institution in Arabia. Muhammad seems to have endeavored to regulate the practice, which is why the custom is to limit a man to four wives. What the life of those wives is like, I do not know, but I have heard some terrible things. What I do know is that this kindly amir who had invited us into his home told us that, for some reason which he confessed he did not understand, his sons wanted to depart from the precedent of his household. They believed, he said, that it would be better to marry only one wife, and that only for love.

This is an interesting perspective when compared with something I heard from an American friend of mine. He lives in close proximity to polygamous families of the Mormon faith. They are nice people, he says, but the practice of polygamy has served only to oppress the women and disrupt the families. Is that a consistent result of multiple wives in one family? Or is it the result of imposing such a model on a culture that is accustomed to one man marrying one woman for life? This I cannot say.

What I can say is that many cultures do have marriage practices that differ from my own. This came to my attention in an unusual way in 2009 upon the election of former president Jacob Zuma of South Africa. Another friend of mine, founder of an influential prayer ministry, sent out a notice asking prayer for Mr. Zuma and his wives (four at the time). She did not issue that notice in a judgmental way, but rather in the same way as she had done when asking prayer for other heads of state. It just so happened that this one was polygamous. It was merely a statement of fact: this particular president of this particular country needed prayer for himself in his new role, and for his family, which happened to include several wives and children by them.

I think my friend did well in asking for such prayer in the usual way. Another friend of mine tells me that we will encounter many followers of Yeshua in Africa and other places who genuinely love God and love their many wives. It is their culture. He, himself, comes from a native culture in America that is matrilineal, and whose marriage norms are different from those of my Scottish, Irish, and English ancestors. I do not understand such a culture, nor do I desire to adopt it, nor is there a need to do so. At the same time, there is no need to impose my culture on his. Such a thing would be unhealthy at best, and genocidal at worst (another sad fact I cannot ignore from our history).

Where, then, does this leave me? It leaves me with the wife of my youth. Charlayne has satisfied me in every way. Why would I seek another to take her place, or to share me with her? It is not my culture. It is not right to her, to our children, and to the many people whom we have enriched through our example as man and wife. Neither is it consistent with the vows we both took to establish our marriage covenant. When I married her, my father said to me, “We McCarns marry for keeps.” Now, over 30 years later, I know the great wisdom of his words.


© Albert J. McCarn and The Barking Fox Blog, 2018.  Permission to use and/or duplicate original material on The Barking Fox Blog is granted, provided that full and clear credit is given to Albert J. McCarn and The Barking Fox Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Examples for us; upon whom the end of the age has come – losttribesfoundblog

Here’s an astounding thought from my Australian friend Margot Crossing. Dangerous things happen when YHVH’s people begin to take Him seriously and believe He will do what He says.


EXAMPLES FOR US; UPON WHOM THE END OF THE AGE HAS COME

Margot Crossing 
Originally posted on LostTribesFoundBlog
May 1, 2017

Remember when you looked up into the sky on a dark night when you are away from any city lights? It may have been a trip through the desert or a camping trip around the time of the ‘dark’ new moon phase of the month.

The spectacular view makes us awe inspired at the number of stars that are in the heavens. Even more mind blowing is the knowing that we only see a fraction of the stars that are out there in the cosmos!

When I have had the occasion to do this I am reminded of the conversation that God had with Abraham.

Genesis 15:5 And He took him outside and said, “Now look toward the heavens, and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.

God continued this conversation after he had offered Isaac up…..

Genesis 22:16….. and said, “By Myself I have sworn, declares the LORD, because you have done this thing and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 indeed I will greatly bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies. 18“In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.”…

I am also a long time student of Derek Prince. I remember his testimony of how he and his wife, Ruth, came into the deliverance ministry. It was as he was preaching, in a church, about ‘when things got darker, then the stars shine the brightest.’ As he was preaching this message the pastor’s daughter, who was also the organist, collapsed on the floor in a demonic episode. They performed a deliverance upon the young woman and she was set free but he realized that his message had upset the demonic realm and the spectacle was meant to distract his audience from the meaning.

ABRAHAM’S DESCENDANTS WILL BE AS NUMEROUS AS THE STARS IN THE SKY AND WHEN THINGS GET DARK THE STARS WILL SHINE THE BRIGHTEST.

Daniel 12:3 And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.  

So now to the revelation this past week of an example from the Torah which is a type and shadow of things to come at the end of the age. My academic friend, Pastor Douglas, was having a conversation with me about God’s grace. He used the example of the children of Israel, Jacob’s family, being kept in Egypt for 400 years. He said it was because the Amorites were in the promised land during this time and Jacob’s family were too weak to fight them as they, the Amorites, were giants. It was not until the children of Israel had multiplied to the numbers they were in Egypt and had seen the miracles of God through Moses that they would be able to defeat these giants. So this was God’s grace keeping them in Egypt until they were fit to defeat their enemies [and God’s enemies].

Immediately I used the quote from 1 Corinthians 10: 11 Now these things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. The word warnings also means counsel so that means we can take counsel from the examples that happened to the Israelites. 

‘So that means’, I replied to Pastor Douglas, ‘that God has the Israelites, now as the Ten Tribes, hidden in the world awaiting for their numbers to be large enough to defeat their enemies at the end of the age.’

‘Yes, I guess you are correct’ he replied immediately seeing the parallel to the present.

Let that sink in…………. Ephraim in the nations, multiplying and multiplying and multiplying until the time for them to take on the ‘giants’ of this world system.  As Hosea 6:2 says After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight. 

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 

What a picture of God’s grace towards all the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, even those who don’t know who they are, even those at the ends of the earth. No wonder the scriptures say that no longer will the children of Israel say, ‘as the LORD brought us up out of Egypt but as he brought us up from the land of the north and from all the countries where He had banished us.’ Jeremiah 16 :13-15

PS Now we know why there is a population reduction policy by the dark powers. The Georgia Guide Stones, GMO food, Chem trails, economic collapse after globalization has us all in a ‘just in time’ inventory system, wars that bring famine etc… Because they are scared of us becoming children of the light in the large numbers that we have become.

PPS Just as well we are all about to shine like the stars in the sky on a dark night and lead many to righteousness. What an adventure! God is sooo….. good.

Source: Examples for us; upon whom the end of the age has come – losttribesfoundblog

Pictures for Pondering II

Connecting the dots in Scripture can be lots of fun – and challenging. The fun part is the “Aha!” moment when something finally makes sense. The challenging part is when that “Aha!” moment presents a different picture from what we have learned all our lives. Do we take that new revelation and run with it, knowing it can make waves, or do we set it aside and hope that it never comes up again?

This second offering of Pictures for Pondering may be a challenge. As with the first edition, posted last spring, these are images from Bible passages prepared originally for posting on YouVersion (the Bible App). The first edition presented some interesting perspectives on the Kingdom of Heaven, Law and Grace, and prophecy, but also some whimsical illustrations. This time there is an attempt at a unifying theme. Part of the challenge is identifying that theme. The other part is investigating it from Scripture to see if it is so.

Good hunting!

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Walking in Torah While Filled With the Spirit

Here’s what is coming up on The Remnant Road on Hebrew Nation Radio for Monday, June 20:

160620 Jones - Restoration and Gifts of the Spirit

One of those overlooked connections in Scripture is that both Moses and Paul – two of the greatest men of YHVH – prayed that all of God’s people would prophesy (Numbers 11:29; I Corinthians 14:1). Moses wrote the Torah, and Paul wrote about how to live it out as a follower of Messiah Yeshua. It would seem, therefore, that both of them would agree that Spirit-filled disciples of Yeshua should be walking in the gifts and the power of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit). But how? And what does that mean anyway?
These are the questions we will explore with Dr. David E. Jones, Senior Pastor at Ruach Ministries International in Brandon, Florida. His latest book, “The Restoration and the Gifts of the Spirit”, is a Hebraic investigation of the Ruach’s identity, purpose, and presence in the lives of YHVH’s people from the earliest biblical accounts to the present day. As one might expect, David addresses the “hot button” topics of tongues and prophetic words, but those are only a small part of this study of the Ruach HaKodesh as an indispensable manifestation of YHVH’s Presence in the lives of His people. Join us for a groundbreaking discussion!
David’s book is available for pre-order at http://www.ruachministriesshop.com/.

Remnant Road 01The Remnant Road, with co-hosts Al McCarn and Daniel Holdings, is the Monday edition of the Hebrew Nation Morning Show.  You can listen live at 11:00–1:00 EST, 8:00-10:00 PST at http://hebrewnationonline.com/, and on podcast at any time.


© Albert J. McCarn and The Barking Fox Blog, 2016.  Permission to use and/or duplicate original material on The Barking Fox Blog is granted, provided that full and clear credit is given to Albert J. McCarn and The Barking Fox Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Celebrating Shabbat Texas Style!

B'ney Yosef National Shabbat New

Fischer Park in New Braunfels, TX, site of the first Central Texas National Shabbat.
Fischer Park in New Braunfels, TX, site of the first Central Texas National Shabbat.

The National Shabbat movement arrived in the Lone Star State through a gathering of about 100 people on March 19 at Fischer Park in the city of New Braunfels.  As with National Shabbats in Georgia and South Carolina, some participants traveled many hours to get there, coming from as far away as Sabine Pass on the Louisiana border, Wichita Falls near the Oklahoma border, Arlington in the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area, and Corpus Christi on the Gulf Coast.  Most of those assembled in New Braunfels came from around Austin (Georgetown, Cedar Park, Round Rock, Kyle) and San Antonio (Boerne, Converse, Poteet, Adkins, Floresville), with a significant number from the Houston area (Katy, Sugarland, Pasadena). Please click here to continue reading